A Review of 2010

This year has been a no joke for us, Blessed Singleness. Issue after issue came up like there's no tomorrow. But, God's work among us is still clearly seen. August 27, 2010 is forever etched in my heart as the day when we got married to each other. That day/night, I felt a strange thread connecting us. I can't explain yet what it is though & I'm not even sure if you felt it, too. I know, until now, there are issues left unsolved but I'm sure, in God's own time, everything will fall into place. Honestly, I don't understand why we need to suffer as a group. However, I do understand that God has a purpose why He allows us to suffer like this. For now, I can't see its relevance in my life today but I'm positive that in the next years ahead, the learning I acquired from all the challenges we faced & will be facing will become handy especially when our inevitable separation loom closer.

I've learned so many things from my depression the last 2 months. I know that during the process, I unintentionally hurt some of you if not all. I'm still healing & I'm not quite sure if the 2-week vacation was enough to abate my anger & frustration. I guess it greatly helped & so did the books I read & am reading this moment. By God's grace, I did not feel the loneliness I felt during the second half of 2010. I'm thankful for that because if I still felt lonely this December, I don't know what I'll become with the Blessed Singleness.

This would be all for tonight. I just posted for the last time here in our blog for this year. God bless all of us in God's family!!!!!=D

The Clock Ticks

 

To start off, I’d like to share a quotation I once read in a novel. It’s pretty simple though but it caught me. “Time turns friends into strangers.”

I would not dare hide what I feel in words so deep but I would make it simple for the one who is reading this. I guess now is the time I express my writings in a way a bit friendly to the readers. So here it goes...

A vessel recorded. It’s Saturday afternoon, I was reading a notebook. Well it’s not typically just a notebook, it’s sort of a mixed journal, diary and art notes.  Written inside those pages is the world I used to be and forever will be. Hidden in every detailed drawing and poems is a being of my every dark corners. Every turn of the pages reveal a part of my history. It’s a remedy and a reminder of the person that I am today. Why I decided to revisit the notebook again? I don’t know. I guess I have to see for myself the changes of the vessel that journeyed from its port up to the heart of the wide ocean. Just by seeing it partly though, it still needs a crew to stop its leaks. That is what I’m bound to face.

Life as it is, full of mystery. Every lightning is unpredictable. You’ll never know where it will strike not until it has fallen. Every smile is remarkable. You’ll never know what it means not unless uttered by the mouth. Every person’s foible is questionable. You’ll never know if he’s a coward not until he proves something. A person has his ways of showing and letting others know how he feels. “To understand any living thing you must creep within and feel the beating of its heart.” Giving your all and adjusting for others even losing your pride is love. Love acts in an enigmatic way. It makes the heart either soft or rough. It’s like a fire that melts butter and the same fire that hardens steel.

”The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.” There’s always a reason and a purpose unfolding in every decorated gift. Would it be nice to have a friend as a present? For me it’s quite fair especially if they’re different from the others. A friend is always a friend. But I guess it does not apply to all. When time hinders, then things change. Would a smile be something special if it comes to the unknown, or would a touch mean it cares not unless you think so? Now that I come to think of it, it doesn’t mean anything to a stranger at all.  That is definitely a sad ending to a story of a six-sided star shining among the others.  When a star dies it turns into a black hole, attracting the positive into negative. Definitely supernatural to think that it would come back and live again as a glittering star. Thus, it is mysteriously given and unexpectedly taken. Why of all the enemies to stand together in fate and time, the latter itself turned its back?

How is it then? How to stop the time? How to avoid the gap that’s beginning to grow in the innermost core of the heart? Or is it really the time? What then or who is to be blame? Why is it that the gold is always to be expected when the silver lining is slowly missing? Why does rejection always threatening when hope and trust coincide? Is it still there or is it broken? Is there a wall trying to hinder? Is it made out of selfishness from one or from all? Isn’t it better to start with positive anything than negative nothing? What now? Is it all gone and wasted? What’s a friend now? What’s the purpose then? How is it that one can change into something special because of being a friend? Is it then an advantage to have many for lessons to learn or a disadvantage for feeling a deadly pain that’s doubled and twice as many times? Now that’s redundant but definitely true. When will I stop asking? How about you answer the questions? Guess not.

The clock ticks. Days are now long gone, and years come passing by. What’s left of us then? Time will pass and I hope that love will still remain. When one is hungry, feed him with food. When one is thirsty, suffice him with water. When one lacks communication, what to do? Nothing is much wonderful when we get used to it. If holding grudges is your cup of tea, well not for all. No matter how hard you shun away from the darkness of the night, you’ll never get away. Why? You’ll never see the light of the day not unless you’ll get through the night. Oi!!! The clock ticks, it’s time for awakening. The clock ticks, it’s time for acceptance. The clock ticks, it’s time to choose your art. What art? You have options.  It’s either you choose the art of reconciling or the art of letting go.  Choose now, not before the clock stops ticking.