Hear Me....

That's the title of Sis Janine's message to me in Facebook. I was a little bit taken aback by what I read when I opened it. It was a poem. At first, I did not understand why she sent me that poem. But while I read it, I slowly understood what she meant by it. Before I post her full message to me, I will share to you the story behind that poem. On that day, Sis Janine was heavily disappointed and hurt by Jessreal, Angelli [both Blessed Singleness sisters] and Mary Ann [our friend in school]. They were supposed to skip PE due to a program in our department, but then, the three of them attended while Sis Janine was with us [me and Juvy] in the Kalambuan Hall looking at the ensuing program. They did not call her and they did not hear Sis Janine tell them "Let's go." So that's where the misunderstanding occurred. It lasted for about a day and a half. Since they are sisters in Christ, it's a great burden in their heart. And they are very close, for that matter. But, it all ended well. And we praise the Lord for it. I believe that it's really hard to fight a sister or brother in Christ because we were commanded to be humble and forgiving at all times. They shed many tears along the way and, in the end, Juvy and I was fooled by their very convincing act.
Truth be told, I was not that affected because in the back of my mind, I know that they will make up. Although, I was also contemplating on what will happen if this rift would go on. If they hadn't made up the next day, we have no choice but to interfere. The Lord really answered my prayer so there was no need for us to meddle in. Thank you, Lord!!! I never imagined that Sis Janine and Jessreal would ever go into a misunderstanding because they are like two peas in a pod. I guess my conception was wrong.
Now, here is the poem and the whole message of Sis Janine. She cried heavily on this matter. That's why this is not just your ordinary friend fights. This is not an ordinary poem either.

Paroxysm
(a sudden violent emotion or action)

In the 15th of February
My heart was broke
My spirit was crashed
Pain and pride, I gulped


As I took my cursing steps away from them,
Myriads of anguish blossomed within.
I was secretly groaning in excruciating pain
“ Oh, damsel when will this ever end? ”


My soul said, “Stop. Please, do not walk away.
Don’t act like an ogre badly dismay. ”
My ego hissed, “Hate. Do not look back.
Act like a Titan; be ready to attack.”



I was driven by an ecstatic force they labeled as anger.
I totally forgot it’s just a letter away from danger.
I drowned myself in oblivion and became madly bitter.
How it did happen- I couldn’t possibly remember.


Oh, what an agony not to look them in the eyes,
Not to say a word to the “angels in disguise”.
Perhaps, no greater pain one could ever feel
Than to hide all those tormenting tears



Oh, what a pathetic plight it had been
How stupid I was to bring so much pain
To agonize those precious benign beings
And give them not a chance to perfectly explain


I disdain myself for being eccentric and brat
But I praise God for touching each one’s heart

Only the epitome of love, mercy, and grace
Could heal the brokenhearted and set love ablaze
Truly, our Abba, Father could give emancipating peace
He alone understands even the most silent tears.


Today, it is 16th of February,
It seems not a day, but a year
I miss their innocent laughter
And the food we usually share

I miss those fragile arms
I lean for support
Oh, those gentle hands
I long to hold



The collision of love and hate burns your very soul
Yet I can’t promise not to taste it once more.
If loving them would require such perpetual “fall”
I’d be more willing to lose my senses at all

sophia [this is sis janine's pen name]

>>>helo sis...after what happened,i was able to make this poem...out of the blue....grave gyid ang nahitabo sis...it was so dramatic yet so real...God bless sis..

What happened to them made me realize that the bond that we share in the Blessed Singleness is not ordinary and that it's really the Lord who holds us together. If it was just a mere human bond, we would have ended up separating and going our own ways. Their rift could have led them to stop speaking with each other for years! I am very grateful to the Lord that He kept us intact. Blessed Singleness will not be Blessed Singleness if we lose three members in just a single day or any other day.

I know that we still have a long way to go. My heart's desire is for us to be together until the end. However, it is the Lord's will that will be done. I know that He is preparing us for something big, although, we still don't know what it is. That is why I really cherish all the memories that we have together while we are still in college. Misunderstandings occur every now and then and it's just normal for us humans. In order to resolve that easily, we should practice becoming a humble and forgiving person. No matter how hurt we are.

The Lord is always here with us. He won't let His children go astray. God speed, my sisters and brothers in Christ Jesus!!!

Start of the Midterms

 HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY to ANGELLI GRACE SUMAPIG!!!!

Ok.. I know that talking about exams is really uninteresting. But believe me, I don't want to talk about this either. I just don't know what to put as the title so I chose this one. Maybe everyone (?) in CNU are now busy studying with all the exams going on. So, why am I here blogging instead of studying? Well, firstly, I just want to clarify that I'm not slacking off.{maybe I am but my tests tomorrow are in the afternoon so I still have loads of time} Secondly, I just want to share with you my thoughts and emotions. I have been very bothered recently by the things that my Aunt has been saying about my birthday party and the way I dress. I do know that she's just concern but I do hope that she'll hear me out first and accept the things that I want. I don't see anything wrong with the decisions I have made so far and I am NOT doing this for myself. It's really for the Lord. How I hope that her eyes will be opened someday. I'm sort of hurt by her comments but I do understand the situation. Under normal circumstances, I would have been very angry and, at some point, I might have given in to all her criticisms and such. However, that is impossible without prayer. If she really wants me to change, then she have to call on my God for He is my Master and I will obey Him if He's the one who tells me to change my clothing.

The Lord really encouraged me to go on with what I have started and not to lose hope. My faith in God is the one behind my change of wardrobe. Call me a hypocrite or whatever you like. As long as God is pleased, I am satisfied with that. Always remember that God is looking at us. He is more important than 1 million people you meet. Please God rather than men as the saying goes. You should remember that.

I know that the Lord wants me to dress like this. There is nothing wrong with wearing long skirts. He is not looking for fabulous people, rather, He's looking for simple and humble people. Mind you, I'm not claiming to be humble and simple. Not at all. I just want you to know that I want to become like one. I want to be a virtuous woman like that in Proverbs. I hope and pray, that all the TRUE Christians, my brothers and sisters in Christ out there, will also become a humble and simple people, totally dependent to our Lord and Redeemer.

God speed to everyone!!!

***Note: I'm not backbiting my Aunt. I just hope that she'll be able to read this and understand me. I also want all of you to know the situation that I am in. I need your prayers.